Work Wanted

Mult timp am fost convins ca nu exista munca pe care sa o faci intr-adevar cu placere. Mai ales daca e munca solicitanta fizic si mental. Dar, gata! Recent mi-am dat seama cat de mult greseam si am inceput sa cred ca astfel de convingeri nu sunt sigure decat aplicate propriei persoane... Pentru ca o simpla cautare pe Internet mi-a scos in cale o categorie de maniaci voluntari ai muncii dincolo de limitele umanului: companionii de pisici (sau “cat-sitters”, cum se numesc in tinuturile unde aceasta meserie a aparut).

Citim la rubrica “Work wanted” pe “FridayAd”: “Cat Sitter, Temporary, Former Veterinary Nurse available to take care of your cat. Are you going away and do not want the distress of leaving your feline friend in a cattery. Do you need someone to pop in and feed your feline friend, or do you want someone to feed, cuddle, medicate and generally keep your cat company for a while. I am a huge cat fanatic and would love to help out. Daily visits only, unfortunately no overnight stays. Ringmer: £8 per day Local Surrounding Areas: £10 per day Contact: Jenny 01273 XXXXXX , , Lewes, 01273XXXXXX.” Nu multe de comentat la acest anunt decent. O doamna care evident stie ce spune si stie cam ce ar insemna ingrijirea unei pisici. Nu pot trece insa peste cruzimea ofertei:  sa fie sitter felinei doar temporar, si nu pe viata! Pai ce faci daca bietul animal se ataseaza pentru ca esti expert in ceea ce faci si “cuddle” si “keep company” ca nimeni altul? La fel, cum sa nu stai peste noapte? Pai daca Pissy inca mai crede in monstrul de sub pat sau trebuie pusa pe olita?

Extindem cercetarea si dam peste anunturile de pe “Gumtree”. Incepem bine, cu un voluntar care geme de experienta: “Hello, I'm a pet and house-sitter with lots of experience (especially with cats, rabbits and hamsters, though I don't look after dogs) and references. I can help with security, house and cat-sitting anywhere in London. I don't charge, as am house-sitting instead of paying rent and bills while between flats. I'm currently booking for the middle of July, for most of august, and then from late march 2014 onwards. Please write to let me know more about your cats/pets, and the exact dates you are planning to be away for. I'll call or write back with more details, and to see if you would like me to visit to discuss arrangements further. Hope to hear from you soon...” Avem aici un expert in orice fel de creaturi, mai putin caini. Gresiti daca va inchipuiti ca ii e teama de ei; cainii trebuie insa scosi din casa din cand in cand, ori expertul nostru tocmai asta cauta: casa. Pai si daca o gaseste, il mai scot cainii afara? Pe langa asta, sa fii companionul, sa zicem, al unui hamster este destul de solicitant si riscant – o greseala cat de mica si iti poti pierde viata... De ce sa impingi limita pana la a insoti caini? Ar fi sinucidere curata.

Continuam pe “Gumtree” si dam peste Andrew, care ofera divertisment (involuntar) matelor: “Hi, I am looking to get a cat in for a week or 2 to try and help get rid of a mouse problem! It could be fun for your cat! Have had many cats for most of my life so can guarantee your pet will be well looked after. I live with others and we are all animal friendly. There are no other pets in the house.
Only payment I would ask for is that the cat food is provided. Any other questions, please feel free to ask. Thanks, Andrew”. Numai ca amuzamentul nu e garantat, ci sta sub semnul lui “poate” (could be fun)... Asta inseamna ca omul stie cu ce soarece are de-a face: lucrurile pot lua oricand o intorsatura urata pentru pisica binevoitorului. De altfel, Andrew marturiseste ca a avut multe altele anterior – unde sa se fi dus toate? Probabil capetele lor sunt trofee in salasul soarecelui... Oricum, Andrew promite ca matza clientului va fi bine tratata – dar cine ar trata rau un muribund?

Pe acelasi “Gumtree” gasim ceva la fel de interesant: “Are you going on holiday or hospital and struggling to find help with someone looking after your cat or kitten? I'm a 25 year old experienced female that lives in Ealing. I have grown up with cats have a couple of cats of my own. For £9 per half an hour or £15 an hour I will go to your home, feed, play with and generally give your feline friend lots of attention! If your cat is a bit more on the shyer side and doesn't quite like a fuss, I will still stay if need be after feeding so it doesn't get to lonely when your away. I can also water plants/any other small requests. I also offer your cat to come stay with me for the duration of your holiday. I charge £90 for the week (7 days) I live in a medium sized 2 bedroom flat in Ealing, so may not be suitable for cats who love to be outdoors scaring birds! if you have any questions, please feel free to email or phone me on 07507XXXXXX using the above contact details. Thanks!” Ceva nou: taxarea cu jumatatea de ora. Ca sa intelegeti: atata dureaza un episod din “Corrie” (e vorba de soapul – cum am zice noi, telenovela – “Coronation Street”) pe care doamna l-ar urmari in timp ce matza dumneavoastra ar fi nevoita sa fie “on the shyer side”. Daca vreti ca doamna sa urmareasca 2 episoade din “Corrie” stand pe canapeaua dumneavoastra in timp ce pisica ar fi din nou fortata sa fie timida, aveti discount £1. Vi se pare scump? Ganditi-va ca aveti si extra-uri: doamna uda plante. Sincer sa va spun, la banii astia, un simplu udat mi se pare insuficient... O inundatie ar fi mult mai potrivita.

Incheiem, desi am putea continua cu multe alte exemple dintr-un domeniu extrem al pietei de munca. Ceea ce sper ca am reusit sa va conving: nu e nimic ridicol in tot ce am prezentat. Sunt cazuri reale, ale unor persoane cu un chef nebun de munca si care incearca sa isi faca o cariera si, de ce nu, sa devina faimosi intr-un domeniu elitist.